Wednesday, May 23, 2007


My friend Tim posted about friends today and I evidently had strong feelings about the subject because I commented like five paragraphs to him.

I want to expand on it here a little bit.

It's very easy to buy into Satan's lies. I constantly hear things from Satan about my skills at mothering, my body, and the way I deal with people. It's very hard for me to remember that these things are just lies.

One of the worst lies Satan tells me is that I am the only one I know who makes mistakes. People don't like to admit they make mistakes or that they have problems. We are good at pointing out other people's mistakes, or even praying for other people's physical ailments, but it's awfully hard to admit that we have problems.

This is why I make a point of telling people when I'm having a hard time. I try to be honest, like last week, when I'm overwhelmed. Even when I think it's a small problem, like a messy house, or "I feel fat today," I think those things are important to tell other people. What kind of a witness are you being when you never seem to have problems, or you don't share the details of your problems?

I'm not saying I want to hear a step by step detailed report of your colonoscopy. That's a whole other issue. But if you are having a hard time, even if it's "small" compared to cancer or death, it's still important to you.

So here's mine:
I have been prideful lately. I have a reputation for being punctual, organized, and dependable, and I take pride in that. Unfortunately the last few weeks I have not been much of any of those. I have let down a lot of people and that makes me sad. And my pride took a hit because I realized that I am not perfect even in those areas. And I would like to be perfect in some areas. But perfection doesn't leave a lot of room for God's grace.

Having kids and becoming a stay-at-home-mom meant that there was a wealth of women in my situation from all walks of life. They were just waiting for me to take the first step. I have made lots and lots of friendships, even with people I didn't initially think would be my friends.

One thing I've learned from that is that in the "real world" sometimes you have to take a chance. Just because you don't click with someone the first, third, or even tenth time doesn't mean you can't be friends eventually. Give them some grace, some of your time, and admit you have made mistakes. Laugh with them and share your trials and you will have friends. I have to work at it, and I am blessed with so much free time to do just that.

To reward those of you who have stuck with this and finished this long post, I give you a word picture.

You know guys who always have it together? They usually wear their sunglasses on their foreheads, just below their hairlines. It makes them look as though they should be driving a Porsche or something. Well Denali got some new sunglasses, and his default way of wearing them if they're not over his eyes is to wear them on his forehead. It really makes him look like we need to buy him a BMW.

I don't know who this dude is. I got the picture from But he looks cool. And his sunglasses are on his forehead. Denali is cuter when he does it, but Joel has the camera so I can't show you.


Angela O. said...

I understand how Tim feels. After moving to Texas (because of poor grades from 2 fun-filled years partying in college) I was extremely lonely. It did allow my brother and I to get closer, though.

I've always been plagued with the negative thoughts when reaching out to make friends. And while most people would say now that I am very extroverted, it is mostly an act. I'm actually quite shy. I've just learned how to talk.

It is important to go ahead and let your feelings out. I've found, that even as taboo as it is to discuss money, when I finally stopped trying to keep up with the Jones and just say "we can't afford it" unbelievable amounts of people say "oh me, too. I'm so glad you said something." We're all just trying to do the best we can :-)

Briana said...

That's Tommy Lee, and I absolutely agree that Denali looks cuter, and I haven't even seen him in his new sunglasses. ;)

Linda said...

I love my Grandchildren and its been too long since I have seen them!

Kar said...

I completely agree. I tend to do the same thing, assume nobody else has problems but me. That's been one good thing this last month or so - I've been starting see that people around me struggle with a lot of the same things I do, that we all have questions and issues.

Here's another word picture for you. You meet someone who's guarded, whose got their weapons up and their wall, so to speak. So you do like one warrior would do to another--you put down your weapons, you let down your guard--and you walk in unarmed. It seems like people instinctively open up when you open up first--or at least they become friendly. It seems to me they don't always want to open up as much as you have--but still. It's an opening. Pretty neat, I think.

'Honesty is truly disarming.' One of these days I want to make a picture of that.